Proverbs 31:10

 “A virtuous woman who can find her?
       She is worth far more than rubies”  Proverbs 31:10

Mission Impossible?

            Have you ever noticed that Christians, who have been part of the club for a while, have their own vocabulary? The "virtuous woman” is just such a  phrase, and it has been seared into our quasi social Christian vocabulary. Unfortunately virtuous isn’t exactly the literal translation of the word in the original text. The original word transliterated is “chayil”, it is a masculine noun, which means strength, might, efficiency, wealth, and it even has the connotation of military force.  I was surprised to learn the thought behind the word myself as I researched this topic, but then again who has the nerve to preach such a thing from the pulpit on Mother’s Day?

Regardless of wether or not the concept of such a strong woman makes us uncomfortable is irrelevant the truth is that this is essence of what scripture says. Now I am not suggesting that women should be rough and aggressive, I think the whole of scripture is very clear that is not God’s best for us. I just think it is interesting that even the most genuine of Christian leaders have difficulty reconciling the concept of such a strong and capable female with the gentle qualities that are easier to swallow.

            So, just who was this virtuous woman, this iron woman? Did she really live? Could one human woman really embody all these noble qualities? The honest answer is that no one really knows if this passage is a historical account of one woman’s life or just the best hopes of a mother for her son. Of this we are certain, these verses are the writing’s of King Lemuel and each word was inspired by God Himself. King Lemuel calls this entire chapter the “oracle” or mystery that his mother told him. I beg you take a pause here and read the first half of the chapter of Proverbs 31, it’s quite a challenge in itself. This wise woman encourages her son to defend the needy and the rights of the afflicted, a true call to selflessness.

            Perhaps the original virtuous woman was King Lemuel’s own mother, she was obviously a woman of great wisdom who could sum up in a few verses all her son needed to know in order to rule a kingdom. However I believe the truth of the mystery of the Proverbs 31 woman is that she is an ideal, a goal, something to strive for. Within the attributes of this woman we see the best performances of all the roles we play. She is rooted in faith, her husband’s true helpmate, mother of the year, and in general the holy grail of femininity. If these passages do not allude to an actual woman that existed, should we consider the ability to accomplish all these virtues ourselves to be mission impossible? Yes, we should.

            The nature of humanity, in its sin, is that perfection will always elude us. Our sinful nature is the antithesis of nobility, the hope of Christ is that we are not abandoned to this fate. Jesus Christ has done more for the liberation of women that Sanger and Steinem ever dreamed. Our Lord loving cared for the woman caught in the act of adultery that was thrown down naked in the streets by those who were charged with her spiritual well being. As the spiritual leaders of her day bellowed for her death they seemed to forget that it takes two to tango. Perhaps her lover was among their own number, nevertheless Jesus forgives her and gently tells her to go and sin no more. Could this woman actually go the rest of her life without committing a single sin? Of course she could not. However I believe after staring into the holy eyes of God Himself she spent the remainder of her life trying.

            If it is mission impossible for any one person to live up to the standard of these verses, why write  about it? I write these words and I live every day of my life with the belief that God only asks me to give Him my brokenness, and He is responsible for the outcome. In the 2 Corinthians 13:11 Paul encourages us to “aim for perfection”, these inspired words from a man who laments that he is the chief of sinners. The reality of the Christian life is that we simply cast our meager efforts and prayers towards heaven and God fashions them into something that can be used for His glory. 

            The concept of hard work without a guarantee of instant reward is hard for us to swallow in this day and age, especially Americans. We have become a culture of instant gratification.  The concept of exerting significant effort for the simple sake of obedience seems foreign to us. So without any promise of success why should we try? We should attempt the impossible because we should meet each day with a fresh commitment to walk in the grace and strength of our Lord, and leave the results to Him.

            So, to answer the 3,000 year old question, “who can find a virtuous woman?” I can. I have personally seen her. Her virtue of kindness lives in my mother who spends countless hours a day talking with elderly folk in her church who are lonely and haven’t anyone else to speak with. I have seen her strength in my friend Rebecca who eluded an iron grace and confidence in the Lord while her infant daughter battled cancer.  In my friend Pam, I have seen her stretch out her hand of kindness across two continents to give two orphans a home. Finally I have seen her in my friend Carrie who put aside her personal pain after a miscarriage to encourage me through the final days of a difficult pregnancy. In every tear wiped, meal prepared, prayer offered up, every lullaby sung, and every child welcomed home, she shines. Oh, yes, without a shadow of a doubt I have seen her!

She is not some fictional character that we should deem unattainable; she is a watermark for all women to strive for. Her worth is more valuable than jewels. Frankly jewels are just rocks that are slightly prettier than the other rocks, if you think about it. However God in His infinite wisdom created common rock aesthetically unappealing but the rare ones are the highly desired jewels. Gemstones are nothing more than the prom queens of the quarry, but we pay more for them than gravel because we have assigned them more worth. God has assigned the worth of these virtues clearly given in Proverbs 31 as more valuable than our human standard of riches, and I believe we should strive for this perfection.

The verses that open the chapter of scripture found in Proverbs 31, begins as a loving admonition from a mother to her son, and they remain so even to this day. I am training my sons to seek out such women, despite the fact that currently some of my boys think girls have cooties. I am raising my girls to walk in her steps. Every day I am aiming for these virtues of perfection and when I fail, I praise the God of grace that He catches me in His mercy. The Scriptures compare the Christian life to a yoke, a race, a war, and I think somehow we’ve missed the picture despite numerous illustrations. The American church has sanitized the gospel in order to make it more comfortable for us. We attempt to make God’s directives to us simple and appealing. The reality is that the Christian life is hard work, it’s physically, mentally, and spiritually challenging, and we are commanded to rise to the occasion.

I will never be perfection on this earth, but I will strive for it nonetheless. I must not use the loftiness of the goal to deter me from trying to reach it. A difficult challenge drives the ambitious and serves as an excuse for the lazy. One of my favorite quotes is from Thomas Edison, he said "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."

 I want you to imagine yourself ten years from now looking back over your life, don’t you want to be able to say that you resigned each one of those days, every 3,652 of them to God’s will. I want to be able to say I lived every day to its fullest and cast off the fear of failure. I am not sure how many days I have left in this life, but God has numbered my days and ordained each one of them. When the days of my life are spent, it is my prayer that I can say as Paul did:

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith” 2 Timothy 4: 7

So are you ready to work? At the end of each blog in the proverbs 31 project series, you will find a section like the following one. It will give you practical ways to apply the ideas of this chapter.

Read It: 

Read the following passages and pray that God would give you the courage to live them out.

1 Corinthians 9:24 – “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize”.

2 Timothy 4:7 – “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”

Hebrews 12:1-3 – “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great    cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”

Colossians 1:10 -  “That you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God;”

Work It:

Pray that God will open your eyes and allow you to see the women around you who are living out God’s purpose. Pray that God will send someone to walk beside you in this challenge and to mentor you.

Ask God to show you some way to glorify Him today. Imagine yourself reporting in at the end of the day, signing off on the work done. You can wash a dish out of drudgery, or out of worship. The issue is a matter of the heart.

Lastly, sincerely pray that God would show you the “weight” in your life, the wastes of your time and energy that keep you from giving God and your family all of yourself. This is a hard prayer to if done so in earnest, but as heart wrenching as the process may be, sanctification is not optional in the life of a believer.